Agnsty, Not Only for Poets and Teens

I love that word. When I looked it up, I found this definition in the Urban dictionary:

Generally it involves the feeling of not being understood by anyone and that the person is alone in the world.

The Merriam-Webster free online dictionary has this nugget:

feeling, showing, or expressing anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity

My teens are in the former group, which makes total sense, because, well, they're teens. I'm in the latter group, my guess is because I'm neither a poet nor a teen (although there are times when I act like one). Anxiety and its cohort, depression, have been my companions for quite some time. Probably about the time I started infertility treatments. (I am blessed with three amazing kids. More on that story, later.) However, anxiety and depression have been particularly present in the last few years. Probably about the time insulin resistance reared its ugly head, unbeknownst to me. The good news is, now things make sense in ways that baffled me before. The bad news is, I must take better care of myself. I mean, you know, like put myself first sometimes. How bad can that be?

I'm curious, though. How much of my anxiety and depression are health related? As I ease into a healthier lifestyle and continue to put myself first in positive ways, will my depression and anxiety lessen? Will I be in a position where I can cut back on my "happy pills?" These are questions I hope I'll have answers (in the affirmative) to in the near future. It looks like, by continuing down the path of eating healthy and exercising, I could very well reverse insulin resistance and its unsavory symptoms in about a years time. I tend to be a rather goal-oriented individual, so of course I'm writing the goal of eliminating the whole prediabetes thing in gold letters on my bucket list.

I have found that sleeping better, thanks to the CPAP machine, has improved my over-all state of being. I'm positive that exercise is also responsible for helping smooth out my rough edges. Therefore, it must be possible that eating well, and managing or eliminating the massive levels of insulin wrecking havoc on my body, may very well contribute to reducing my angsty depression, as well.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

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