Clawing out of Depression's Grip

Not long ago, depression had me in its insidious grip, squeezing every shred of self confidence with which I manage to shroud myself. Clawing and writhing my way out of its clutches leaves me first pondering how I found myself there in the first place, and then tending to the wounds it inflicted. These wounds, some of them merely scratches that will heal quickly; others deeper with darkening bruises, which will turn to sickening green (how I feel about them, and sometimes me), and then fade completely.

With the significant changes I've made in my diet and the increase in exercise, I definitely experience fewer depressive states. When I do have them, it seems that they are still intense and I still feel anxious, but I think that the anxiety is a result of the tachycardia I experience during the luteal phase of my cycle, which is also when I tend to succumb to depression.

After my hysterectomy in another couple of weeks, I won't have ovaries, ergo, no luteal phase. So, might it be possible that without the surge of progesterone and testosterone, I will no longer experience tachycardia? Without the tachycardia, will I no longer have that feeling of anxiety? I don't think that my depression will be eliminated completely, but wouldn't it be lovely if it were simply a shadow skittering across my mental landscape rather than the monster I described above?

Medication Experimentation

I got to thinking that what I experienced as anxiety and depression was actually the effects of insulin resistance. I felt that I had enough personal data and supporting evidence to warrant a decrease in Cymbalta, which I have been taking for about eight years. I was at the maximum daily dosage of 120 mg. I chatted with my doctor about cutting the dosage in half. He supported my decision to try decreasing my dosage and we agreed that I would take 90 mg for 14 days and then 60 mg after that. I'm happy to report that I'm doing quite well on the current dosage. Perhaps in the next year or so I can wean off of Cymbalta completely. With my doctor's permission, of course.

A month or so ago, my endocrinologist put me on Spironolactone for Hirsutism. While the literature states that it takes a few months for noticeable effects, I've already seeing a few. For example, my skin and hair is not as oily. I need lotion now when I didn't prior; however, I love the various lotions I've purchased, and using them makes me feel feminine and girly.  I no longer need to wash my hair every day, every other day works out well. 

Fewer meds and feeling better is a great way to start this new year. 

Related Links

• Spironolactone